Grandma Sharon

Lil,

You spoke to your Grandma Sharon a few times, most recently on her birthday, Nov. 7, 2013. She was so happy to talk with you. We could hear it in her voice. She told us how excited she was to get the birthday card you sent and signed and told you she loved you. You don’t know this concept now, and we haven’t told you about Grandma Sharon for that reason, but she went to Heaven on Monday, Dec. 16. That means she’s not on Earth like we are anymore.

She was much too young, 65. I’m sorry for both of you that you never met your Grandma Sharon in person. She would have had a blast with you, and you would have loved her big heart. She would have showed you her ducks like Allan did last weekend and she would have helped you pet Bobby the parakeet.

Part of the reason you didn’t meet her was timing and distance. But to be honest, and I will always try to be honest with you, a big part of the reason you didn’t ever see her was because I wasn’t sure I wanted to expose you to the craziness that I experienced as her daughter. I would hope that your relationship would have been better than mine, but I felt like I couldn’t chance that with you. 

It’s very complicated, and someday, if you want, we will talk about it, but I am confident that your Grandma Sharon is watching over us. She loves you more than anything, and now she has the ability to really help you. When she was on this Earth, she had physical and mental issues that prevented her from being the Mom and Grandmom we needed and she probably wanted to be but couldn’t.

Now, she will watch over you the rest of your life, guiding you to what is right and good in this world. If you look to the sky and see a star that is shining brighter than the others, that’s your Grandma Sharon. You will make her smile and most of all, you will make her proud.

I love you, Lil Park, and always will.

Mommy

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Today was Lil’s first St. Patrick’s Day. She had a busy day.

First up was a St. Patrick’s Day party at our friends Amber and Tim’s house with their little girl Marin. Amber and Marin are part of a play group, and she invited all of the member of that group and us. We had a great time. Amber is so crafty and such a great mom. She served only food that was green… celery, green grapes, honey dew melon, etc. Lil slept through part of it,

but she really enjoyed being around all of the kids. None was her age, but she likes people and baby watching, so she was fine.

Then we had to go to the dentist for the second time this week, so I could get my pesky “restored” filling restored. The good news is that the office staff loves babies, so I was able to take Lil while Mama got some sleep. Lil and the staff did great. I didn’t hear her cry at all. And despite being really tired, Lil was still smiling when we got ready to go.

Lil was sacked out after a busy St. Patrick's Day morning.

What a happy girl! Even at the end of a busy, running around day.

We went home after the dentist. After eating lunch and taking a nap, Mommy and Lil went for a walk around the neighborhood. We had another couple of firsts: she stayed awake the whole time and rode on a swing.

What a wonderful day! I’m so grateful for this time I’m getting to spend with Lil.

Who wants to know?

Well, it seems like a lot of people. My Facebook was abuzz today with questions about where we were in the “baby extrication project.” Not much news to report was my response. But it got me thinking that we’ve received some funny advice and very sweet comments since we announced we were pregnant. I want Lil to know how much love surrounds her, so here are some of the comments:

Karen FB post on June 14: Excited that we made progress this weekend with preparations for our new arrival in November. Lisa is due Nov. 29.

30 people liked what I posted, and 46 people commented. Here are some of the highlights.

Tracey Margeson Milne (JoJo’s sister-in-law) AHHHHHH!!!!! Too excited. Hugs and Kisses to all (including belly) from NJ!

Holly Neuman Shriner (karen’s friend from KU) Love it

! Can’t wait!

Nancy Campbell Albritton (former AJC colleague) That is just fantastic news!! What a lucky baby!

Chuck Eckstein (AJC colleague) To quote those Bud Lite commercials: “Here we go.”

Jill Parker Krugel (wife of AJC colleague Phil Krugel) Woo Hoo! You and LIsa will be great parents.

Susan Wells (former AJC colleague) Whoa. This is news. Didn’t know this. That is way cool. Mazeltov!!

Sandy Armstrong-Roper (AJC colleague) “Just as a tree grows best when anchored firmly in the earth, so can a pregnant mother feel strong and capable when supported by a sisterhood of nurturing friends.” — April Lussier. Just know that both you and Lisa are surrounded and supported by so many friends of which I am so glad to be a part. Keeping you all 3 in my prayers! Big hugs

Jacki Brucker (Karen’s high school friend) Karen- that is wonderful news. Congrats to you and Lisa. I wish you all the best, early potty training, and a great relationship with your child.

Alyssa Chumnanvech Steinberger (Karen’s high school friend) What fun! Now there will be a cousin for Matt’s kids!! Congratulations… and enjoy every minute (of your last 168 days of freedom 😉

Rob Smoak (former AJC colleague) The best news I’ve heard in a long time! So happy for y’all.

Morieka Johnson (former AJC colleague) Start checking the Freecycle.org for cool baby stuff. CONGRATS!! Can’t wait to kiss the little munchkin!!!!

The Little One at 19 weeks, 6 inches, 9 ounces on July 8, 2010.

On July 8 Karen posted: Lisa and I are happy to report that everything is going well and that we are having a Thanksgiving GIRL. We saw her flip her feet over her head, stick out her tongue and wiggle all around. 30 people liked the status, 32 comments.

Fauve Yandel Holihan: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I was hoping y’all would have a November girl like I did almost 17 years ago! May she be as sweet and awesome as Emily is! CONGRATS, and give Lisa a BIG HUG for me!

Lauren Hertel: Woohoooooooo! I see our two little Disney princesses at the parks together in about 5 years. Or maybe they’ll elect to be Pirates instead? 😉

Jill Geisler: Congratulations, Karen and Lisa. What wonderful news!

Jill Christy Ramos: That is so very cool! I can’t wait for the two of you to bask in all the joy that a little friend brings. I’m so happy and excited for you!!!

Jenni Girtman: oh my goodness. An active GIRL – yeah yeah yeah!!!

Jacki Rudd: Wow. Can’t imagine what an experience that must have been, girls. Ha! “Flipping her feet over her head and sticking out her tongue”…Sounds like a little acrobat with a streak of mischief. Love it.

Holly Neuman Shriner: Hooray! Sounds like a wonderful experience! So happy for you both!

Greg Libke: YAY…..a girl is soooo perfect! We are so happy for you and that Abbie will have a girl cousin to play with!

Michelle Riebe Rush: Oh look out! I can tell you from experience that girls will make you spend some money!

Tim Martin: What? You are having a baby? OMG!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!

Tracey Margeson Milne: GIRLS RULE!!!! Couldn’t be happier for you guys and I can’t wait to meet her.

Meridith Ford Goldman: I am SOOOOOO happy for you both! XOXOXOOX

Sandy Armstrong-Roper: Congratulations, Karen and Lisa. I can tell you from experience, girls will push you to your limit but I wish for you the joy I have been blessed with to have my girl! Now a young woman but still my baby girl!

Matt Park: To those asking the name, clearly it will be Mattina Mattie in honor of her loving brother who was alway so sweet to Karen as a child.

Evelyn Amaya Ortega: William was born on Thanksgiving weekend (Nov. 29)! You know what this means… Park-Transiskus-Ortega family… That is wonderful news!

Lisa, Karen and Little One at a gathering on Aug. 30

Sept. 2 Karen posted: Well, we tried to get a 3D picture of the Little One yesterday, but she’s feisty and wouldn’t cooperate. The good news is that she and Lisa are doing very well. Doctor estimates the baby weighs 2.5 pounds. Only 13 more weeks till our due date!

Matt Dempsey (former AJC colleague) said: It will seem like an eternity but she’ll be here before you know it. I swear babies warp time.

Sept. 5 Karen posted: The third trimester starts today. We think the baby is throwing a party for herself.

Lauren Hertel (Audrey’s mom): You’re gonna LOVE having her here… it’s SO much better than I could have imagined!!!!!!!

Sheri Blount: She probably is! And, by the way, they continue to do that for themselves for a LONG time!

On Sept. 14 Karen posted: Lisa says the baby has hiccups. Maybe if Lisa scares herself they’ll go away. Funny part is that they happen at the same time every day.

Jill Parker Krugel: Kyle and Riley had the hiccups on the inside too. It is a funny feeling!

Emily Park Libke: Abbie did the same thing, it use to wake me up at night.

Lauren Hertel: And they’ll continue after she’s born! Audrey’s bouts are around the same time of day and of the same duration as when she was in utero… strange!

Lisa at 33 weeks on Oct. 10, 2010

On Oct. 10 Karen posted a photo of Lisa at 33 weeks. 20 people liked it and we received 20 comments, including:

Nancy Campbell Albritton: Just beautiful!

Morieka Johnson: Looking good, Mama!

Diana Place Clark Holbrook: Yeah!  I was hoping to see a picture! She looks great!

Sandy Armstrong-Roper: Lisa looks wonderful. I am so excited for you both!!!

Ann Deacon Noell (former AJC-er): Beautiful! Very happy for you both! Thanks for sharing…

Rob Smoak: Awe, the best photo on the internet right now. I’m so happy for y’all!!!

Cynthia Roseberry: Great photo. That is the face of happiness.

Phil Krugel: Fantastic!!!! Jill and I are so thrilled for you!

Sara Alderfer Wood: AWWWW!!!!!! Hello baby! Lisa looks great! Love to all three of you.

Jennifer Ryan: She looks gorgeous!

Jenni Girtman: Finally a photo!! Yeah. You are glowing Lisa — just perfectly glowing! Thank you for sharing.

Harold Lee Weaver: Whoa! Cool!

Charles William Jones Jr. So INCREDIBLE!!! I love it!!!

Kimmie Cooper Morgan: I’m soooooo excited to see a photo… take more take more!!! Lisa’s gorgeous pregnant!

On Nov. 1 (28 days before due date) Karen posted: Braxton Hicks have started. I actually felt one as LIsa was having it. Pretty neat. 13 people liked the post, and 9 people commented, including…

Vanetra Maybin (friend): Wow! Won’t be long!

Kimmie Cooper Mogan (AJC colleague): Few more days and she’ll be considered FULL TERM…she could come at anytime now…YIPPY!!! Can’t wait to meet her!

Elizabeth Landt (former AJC colleague): Both my kids were a week late – so you never know. They enter the world when they are ready – not when we are. But either way it is so awesome when they do.

On Nov. 6 Karen posted: Wish I had an engineering degree so putting together some of this baby gear wouldn’t be so hard. The extra money wouldn’t be so bad either.

Lauren Hertel: Hahaha. You think putting the baby gear together is hard? Wait until you have to figure out how to use a bulb aspirator! Sometimes the simple things are the hardest. 😉

Amber Eberly (wife of fellow AJC-er Tim Eberly and Marin’s mom): Lord, I almost had a nervous breakdown trying to put together Marin’s stroller. 🙂

Diana Place Clark Holbrook (Ohio friends via JoJo): Have you figured out the car seat yet? The worst!

Kit Tarvin-Peek (Piper’s mom): Oh… The fun of parenthood.

Myria Tarvin-Peek (Piper’s mom): Let me at that baby with a bulb aspirator. My favorite!

Heather Vogell (fellow AJC-er): You are smart to do it now – trust me, if you wait until you are sleep deprived, too, those diagrams will really stop making sense!

David Milne (JoJo’s brother): hahahaha…..sooo been there!!

Matt Park: Babies come out smart enough to do it themselves nowadays. Just leave it and let lil bit after it!

Elizabeth Lee Greene (former AJC-er): Buy good, used baby equipment at nice consignment sales. Takes care of the putting together and negates the need for an engineering degree and the accompanying salary boost.

Julie Jacobson (friend from KU): Oh boy. Christmases are going to be fun if you buy toys that need assembly.

Nov. 20 Karen posted: Already trying reverse psychology with the little one. Car was packed for the hospital but I’m unpacking so I can take recyclables to the dump. Now maybe she’ll come. 🙂

Chuck O’Briant (former AJC-er): Holly and I predict an appearance this weekend.

Lynn Orr (former AJC-er): My money’s on Sunday.

Abby McCormick: I’m gonna bet Thanksgiving…

Amber Eberly: Maybe I was right with 11/25 all along!

Jennifer Hall Woolen (Lisa’s friend from Spartanburg): she’ll come after the ninth full moon! Tell Lisa I am thinking of you guys and are soo excited for both of you!

Lisa eating eggplant parmesan at Scalini's. Scalini's says if you eat their eggplant parm and have your baby within 48 hours you'll get a $25 gift certificate. Didn't work for us unfortunately.

Nov. 21 Karen posted Bring on the baby! Lisa’s eating eggplant parm at Scalini’s.

Myria Tarvin-Peek: Worked for me…was in labor 4 hour after. O course, I was 4 days overdue.

Lynn Orr: Tonight it’s even a blue moon (for real, according to the definition)!

Chuck Eckstein: What a neat pic.

Fauve Yandel Hollihan (former AJC-er): re-pack that car, Karen! meanwhile, WHY COULDN’T I HAVE LOOKED THAT GREAT WHEN I WAS NINE MONTHS PREGNANT?! DAAAANG!

Amber Eberly: The eggplant parm didn’t work for me – Marin wasn’t born until a week later!

Greg Libke (Emily’s husband): Tons of walking for emily! 2am walks, trips to IKEA, and so on….hang in there she will be here before you know it.

Matt Dempsey: Didn’t work for us. Here’s hoping!

Jennifer Kistler (friend, see separate blog post): Still can’t believe you were there…and we missed you. Absolutely crazy!!!

Montse Knowlton (former AJC-er): Scallini’s and a full moon… a no fail combination.

ADVICE ON HOW TO GET THE BABY TO COME OUT:

Nov. 22 Sara Alderfer Wood (friends from church): If you are still looking for something to help things along. Take Lisa to get a pedicure. Worked like a charm with Reilly. (I told her Lisa didn’t like pedicures, but would it work if I got one. Sara responded: Get some peppermint oil and rub her feet. The peppermint can be a labor inducer and there are labor pressure points on the feet. Yea! So excited for you both. Saying special prayers and eagerly anticipating the joyful news and pictures!!!

On Nov. 22 Karen posted: This is like filling a 10-gallon barrel with a dripping faucet.

Tad Kilgore (AJC-er): Bust the head of the faucet off. Just expect a mess…

Michelle Schell (sister-in-law): Tell her to run the vacuum cleaner, worked for me!

Abby McCormick: Hang in there!

Jackie Brucker: Not that I have ever had a kid or anything, but I heard having a little fun helps…. (wink wink). Just throwing it out there 🙂

Abby McCormick: JACKIE!!!!!!

Laura Davis (Atlanta friend): I agree with Michelle, but don’t forget that when informing a 9 month pregnant lady that it’s her turn to do the vacuuming, it’s always smart to wear a helmet and bulletproof vest. Safety first. 😉

Myria Tarvin-Peek: Warm bath

Jennifer Hall Woolen: Full moon! Drink some castor oil????

Joanne Milne Sosangelis: a little water torture won’t hurt you … but it certainly can make you insane! Wait.

Evelyn Amaya Ortega (former AJC-er): you can’t rush a good thing… I was so done with pregnancy last year with William. I was wishing he would come BEFORE thanksgiving so I could eat (really, eat!). But he had to take his sweet time for a few days longer. If she’s not ready, you can’t make her get out. Patience… will be good practice for later when she’s 1 (or 3, or 5) and having a tantrum at Target the week of Thanksgiving, but I digress 😉

Lela Randall Scarborough (former AJC-er): Lisa is not ready until her head starts to spin around like Linda Blair and she is screaming “GET IT OUT!” Oh, wait, that was me….tick tick tick, soon enough and you will never sleep again. So exciting!

Yvette Yoon (Karen high school friend): hang in there! enjoy the calm before the storm! 🙂

Rebecca S. Yu (Karen high school friend): I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this but, I was up on a ladder trying to change a light fixture outside the garage. When I was still unsuccessful after an hour, I gave up and went out for margaritas. My water broke that night. Congrats, Karen!

Corey Keller (Karen high school friend): Cleaning the garage did it for me. Must be something about home maintenance….or maybe it’s just that pretty much anything (including 36 hours of labor) is better than cleaning the house!

Nov. 23 Karen posted OK, because I’ve had some requests, there is nothing new to report from the baby extrication project. OB appointment tomorrow, unless…

David Lee: I like your characterization of the project. Coming from negative zero experience I’d suggest patience, but you know…

Fauve Yandel Holihan grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Paige Oliver Taylor (former AJC-er): You are SUCH a deadline girl. Babies have none of that.

Rudy Isaza (fellow AJC-er): Get your rest, Karen. You’re going to wish you had …

Week 24!!!!!

How amazing! We’re at 24 weeks, 6 months in and only 3 months left. This is one of those roller coaster moments. It’s an awesome feeling knowing that we’ve come so far, but it’s a little scary knowing that in 3 months, we’ll be moms. I’ve told a few of our friends that I can’t imagine what it’s going to feel like to hold our little girl. It’s not a niece or close friends’ baby. She’s going to be our baby. I’m really looking forward to it though.

The Little One is the size of an ear of corn.

How big is she, you might ask. The Little One is 12 inches long, the size of an ear of corn.

She’s moving a lot more. Chris is doing a great job with the nursery. The windows are in, and the painting has begun. We’re very excited.

Faithful leaps

Life is a series of leaps of faith. At least Lisa’s and my life together has been. First we both took huge leaps of faith when we found each other in Spartanburg. It certainly wasn’t easy at first, but boy am I glad we’ve both stuck with each other through the past 15 years.

Then there was the move to Michigan. I accepted the job when the Detroit Free Press called without consulting Lisa. As soon as I said yes to the paper, I turned to Lisa and asked her if she was going. “Of course,” was her answer. There was a lot in that of course. She was leaving her family for the first time. We were moving halfway across the country, we didn’t know anyone there, and Lisa didn’t have a job. But off we went, and we really enjoyed ourselves (except when it was brutally cold, dark and depressing).

When we moved to Michigan, I told Lisa I would get us back to the South in 2-3 years. Well, two years later, I was offered a job in Charlotte. However, we weren’t certain Lisa would have much opportunity professionally. So we said a lot of prayers and took the big leap of faith that we would end up in Atlanta at some point, and I turned the job down. And we ended up in Atlanta about six months later.

There have been other smaller leaps, but they’re all leaps just the same. Now, we need to take another one. Finding someone or some people in a place to take care of the Little One while we’re at work.

It’s really weird how much different and sometimes more difficult making decisions becomes when you’re talking about your child and your daughter’s well-being and her future. It’s easy to say you want to live in a diverse area and you want your child to embrace diversity when you don’t have children.

But when you do have one, or are about to have one as we are, and are trying to find a place that you feel will take care of your child as well as you and be as concerned about their safety, well-being, education, etc. as you, that’s another thing.

My bottom line is this: I want our child to have a variety of experiences, whether it’s with the people she meets, places she goes, or things she reads. But we will not sacrifice her care and education for her to experience diversity.

The good news is that I think we’ll be able to find something relatively close to us that will meet our needs, but living where we do certainly presents its challenges. That said, I hope the area continues to improve so that all of us can enjoy the diversity that we have come to appreciate without sacrificing our fundamental needs.

Week 21

The baby is this big this week, as big as a large banana.

Things are starting to get more exciting. We both are feeling the baby more. She is the size of a large banana this week. Apparently last week she was the size of a small banana. She weighs about 12 ounces. Almost hitting the 1 pound mark.

Dad and Rosa visited this weekend. We went to Dylan’s birthday party (I can’t believe he’s 5 today). Dad, Rosa, Lisa and I then went to look at baby stuff, our favorite thing these days. We showed them some of the things we registered for at Babies R Us and then showed them our stroller at REI (Perimeter and North Druid).

This is the stroller we want. It's the BOB Revolution. Orange.

Saving money

I love to shop, but I’m also always looking for a deal, so I’ve been very excited to see there are numerous Web sites out there where you can get some pretty fantastic deals. You have to be attentive though. In fact, some of these sites require you to look at them at a certain time of day. Otherwise, you’ll lose out on their deals. Two such sites are:

babysteals.com: This site offers one product each day at a significantly reduced price. Often around 50-80% off. The catch is that they post their daily offering at 9 a.m MST, which is 11 a.m. here on the East Coast. You usually don’t know what the item is going to be, although there are leaks on Facebook sometimes. Anyway, if you’re not on their site at 11 a.m. and can’t make a quick decision, you’re likely to miss out on the product.

ecobabybuys.com: This site works in much the same way as babysteals. Except this one you have to be on at 9 a.m. The site says it tries to work with manufacturers that offer non-toxic, eco-friendly and fairly traded baby products. Again, you have to act fast once they post a new item.

I’ll keep adding to this list as I find other sites I like. Please feel free to share your best shopping sites.

The things people say… and ask

Friends have told me that people lose their filters when dealing with pregnant women, and I definitely believe them. We’ve definitely been asked some funny questions by people during this process. While they might usually hurt your feelings, I know people mean well in what they’re asking but just aren’t sure how to ask it. A couple of examples:

1. Last weekend while Lisa and I were looking at strollers at a local baby store, the saleswoman asked: “When are you getting the baby?” My response: Rub on Lisa’s belly and say we’re due in around Thanksgiving. What I should have said: “We’re getting it in late November because it’s on back order.” The reason she asked the question that way is because while Lisa is starting to show, she wears her clothes loose, which means neither of us looks pregnant.

2. We’ve had at least a couple of people ask if we “planned” the pregnancy. My response: I say “Well” and pause and then they rephrased the question. What they really want to know is whether we’ve really thought this out or we just did it on a whim. The answer to that question is: “Yes, I don’t think we could have thought about it longer or harder.”

A friend of ours was asked late in her pregnancy if she was expecting twins. The answer: No. On top of that, she didn’t look very big. Go figure.

Nicola Ayoub, owner of Nicola's on Lavista Road, is always putting on a show for his guests. He's a great guy with even better food.

Our friends have warned us that this is just the beginning. They’ve told us that random people will want to touch Lisa’s belly. I’m not sure how generous she’ll be about sharing, but who knows. She’s definitely surprised me with some things during this process.

We told the owner of one of Nicola’s, one of our favorite restaurants that Lisa is pregnant. He said in his thick Lebanese accent “I’m so happy! You make me cry!” He placed his hand on Lisa’s stomach, which she didn’t seem to mind. He kept coming back to our table to tell us how happy he was and that the baby’s first dance needed to be at Nicola’s. Nicola loves to dance and has belly dancers almost every night. As we left, he kissed Lisa’s stomach and said goodbye to Little One. Very sweet. By the way, for those of you in Atlanta, check out Nicola’s. It’s at 1602 Lavista Road Northeast, Atlanta. Some of the best Mediterranean food you will eat in Atlanta.

I’m looking forward to what I’m sure will be many more interesting moments.  🙂

Cloth vs. disposable

Boy has this been one of the big questions so far. I would love to do cloth, but I keep thinking about what I would do when those big blowouts occur, and I know they will, and knowing my luck, we’ll have the poopiest baby ever! Lisa feels strongly about the cloth diapers, but when the baby goes to daycare, we’re not going to be able to us them.

So what’s a girl to do? We have looked at several brands of cloth diapers and even found a couple of brands, GroBaby and Gdiapers, that offer a hybrid system with a disposable, compostable liner.

I woud love to hear from any of you who have used cloth diapers, particularly any of the newer systems.

Two Week Wait

If you undertake this process and aren’t successful the first, second, third and possibly more times after that, you’ll come to despise this interminable period of time. The weird thing is that when you’re waiting for milestones in this process, it seems like you’re always being told “In two weeks…”

You wait two weeks (or thereabouts) between the time you inseminate and the time you either start your period or take a pregnancy test to see if everything worked. As I said, if you aren’t successful early in this process, the TWW becomes increasingly difficult and emotionally draining. You’re on a major roller coaster, and at the end of the ride, you’re either on an incredible high or extremely disappointed.

Yet, if you’re not successful, the day you get your period, you have to start the process over all again. That’s the good part. You’re not down long. But the longer it takes to get pregnant, the more down it seems you get. Or at least I did. That’s where support from each other, friends and family is so important.